Individual Therapy for Adults

All lives carry pain – sometimes, we lose our way trying to escape it.

We all know that pain happens in life, love carries the possibility of loss, and all hopes carry the seeds of disappointment.

Whether through death, conflict, sudden ruptures, abandonment, or the slow end of gradually moving in a new direction, we will lose people, dreams, and parts of ourselves.

Sometimes, the hurt comes from outside us: other people, unjust systems, or the world. Sometimes, it comes from within us: self-criticism, impossible standards, or self-abandonment.

When we try not to risk that pain, we lose the relationships, experiences, and activities that make life vibrant and vital. When we try not to feel it when it comes, we cut away essential parts of who we’ve become. Either way, we make our lives and ourselves smaller.

It genuinely does not have to be this way.

Look, it sucks to hurt. None of us want these feelings: confusion, loneliness, heaviness, anger, grief, fear, or agony. We don’t like the thoughts and behaviors that come with them as we struggle to make it through the day, flinging hurtful words at ourselves or others, overeating or eating nothing at all, suffering from fatigue deep in our bones, and shutting down entirely or losing control.

We may be unable to avoid the hurts in life, but we also don’t have to suffer the actions that come from trying to escape them. Nor do we need to give up life’s richness and meaning, trying not to feel them. And that truly is the cost of our avoidance: joy, love, creativity, authenticity, nourishment, connection, awe, and pleasure.

However, there are situations and factors we cannot and should not accept: the trauma of abuse or neglect, the systemic injustices and baked-in inequities, the denial of our personhood, the horror of war and “military action,” and the destruction of this Earth, our home. Living is complex, and that complexity is inescapable and perhaps even necessary to be fully alive.

Therapy can help us find the path back to ourselves –

And genuine connection with others and the wider world.

As we experience life, those experiences become part of our stories about ourselves, others, and the world. Those stories can become like an overused trope, choosing our lives for us as we try to avoid our worst predictions and do what we’ve learned is “supposed” to bring success, happiness, or, at least, more stability and less heartache.

Individual therapy is walking together through life with someone there to help you see, hear, and relate with yourself with greater clarity and compassion. It provides a waystation when you need provisions for your journey – perhaps especially when you don’t know what you need.

Together, we will learn to notice what is happening before us and identify when old stories limit us. We’ll determine what matters most to you and who and how you want to be. We’ll practice choosing which stories are workable to get us where we want to go and which are not. We’ll figure out what skills and perspectives might be missing from our toolbox and how to be in the storm of our feelings without losing our way.

Whatever the cause, you don’t have to face this alone. Take the first steps today and call me for a free consultation.